Thursday, June 28, 2012

Run Number 8, I think

     Oy, I am more than a little annoyed with myself. I said I was going to blog more about my C25k adventure. I should have told ya'll to nag me a little, so I would. Also, I've hit some speed-bumps here and there. I'm trying to think of them as speed-bumps, rather than failures, because failure would only be if I quit or gave up, and I am not. I'm trying not to beat myself up when I struggle more, or skip a run. Trying to work on positive self-talk. So. I'm going to go back and share some struggles/speed-bumps from my little journey thus far.
   I have skipped, or postponed runs several times due to lack of sleep, a period, lack of motivation, and whatnot. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about it. I haven't given up! That in itself is huge. I need to remind myself of that.
      One issue I've run into a couple of times is distraction. I tried letting Allie run with me, but we have different paces. Duh. She's not only a couple feet shorter, she's been running semi-regularly, and I haven't for twenty years. The kid is fast, energetic, and her pace is steady; mine changes erratically. The problem with this is, of course, that I run the risk of tripping on her, or having her riding my bumper, so to speak. This distracts the crap out of me. Then I have to tell her to speed up or slow down, which wastes precious breath and throws off my rhythm. The slightest interference with my breathing pattern throws me off. This is humiliating for a veteran choir nerd. You wouldn't believe the breath control I used to have! Also, being six, she's pretty sure if she's awake she needs to yap. If I'm in the room with her, I need to listen and respond. I cannot. So, as it turns out, I can't run with her. Sad, as she really wants to, and I really want her to.
     Part of my struggle today was Miss Allie distracting me with her cheer-leading. She means well, and is being so sweet, but I'm so easily distracted. I'm trying to remind myself that this tendency to become distracted is part of the Fibromyalgia. I'm easily overwhelmed and easily distracted, and Fibro is to blame. My other issue with today's run was that I've got this stupid cold or sinus thing that is making breathing more difficult. I couldn't breathe well enough, and I had to waste breath telling Allie to please stop distracting me, so I had to cut it short. I made it only halfway through. I'm reminding myself that that's okay. It's only the second time I've cut a run short. That's nothing, out of 8 runs for someone who is so out of shape, dealing with chronic pain and fatigue, and has not run in twenty years. See? Positive self talk. For someone in my position, I am doing great. Go me. Thank You, Jesus for lending me some strength.
     I'm still on week one, by the way. Remember how I said I'd do each "week" for a month instead, to pace myself? I'm glad I made that decision. I may go longer than a month. It'll help if I do my run three times a week, as I'm supposed to. Today is the first one I've done in a week, and that last one was the first in a week. I know I'll feel better and do better, if I run thrice a week. No excuses. I just have to get up before the kids. Unfortunately, this means getting up at 5, so I can finish before they wake up at 6. I hate mornings. 
     I have to admit, though, running starts my day off great. Like, better than coffee. I really said that. I'll say it again. Starting off my day running, gives me a better start than starting with a cup of coffee. For real. Absolutely. You know how you always here people say that getting exercise is energizing? I always figured that for total hooey. Using energy gives you energy? Please. But it does! It's like some kind of special reward for getting up off your can! 
     There's another great reason to keep this up! More energy! For someone with Fibromyalgia and/or Chronic fatigue, this is huge. It's like a special delivery of more spoons
     What I want to do is run Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week, and blog about it on Friday. This will help me keep track of my progress and help me drag my silly carcass out of bed on those mornings. Really dang early. I never regret it. I need to remember that.
    I'm feeling accomplished, and I plan on making that feeling a norm. I need it. I'm getting kinda ramble-y now, so I think it's time to close. Thanks for reading!
 ~The Empress~

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