I thought it would be fun to introduce ya'll to my fabulous five year old ("I'm almost SIX, Mom! Does that make you feel old?!") by having her introduce herself. I admit, I Googled funny interview questions for kids, but I did add some of my own, and changed up some of the others. I may have skipped one or two which I knew would make me sound like a jerk. (Hey, it's my blog!)Allie was ready to start her interview this morning, as soon as she ate, helped Brenna, 2 tomorrow, get breakfast, and kissed Judy, 7 months. So, while I waited for the wonderful hubby to make me a tasty breakfast, we began.
Empress Momma: What is your happiest memory?
Allie Rachelle: Umm... When we go to Grampa's company picnic!!
EM: What do you like most about being a kid?
AR: We get to go to school!!
Peanut Gallery (Tony, since he's listening): Good answer!
EM: Very good answer! Okay, Allie; What word would you use to describe yourself?
Side note: Her name is Alexandria Rachelle. We have called her Allie since before we even had an ultrasound telling us she's a girl. She recently met, for the first time since babyhood, Rachelle-my maid of honor, after whom she is named. She decided that week, and has insisted ever since, to go by Rachelle. I'm fine with this and have tried to comply, but it's hard to break habits. You know?
EM: Do you know what "describe" means? It's when you say someone's funny, silly, goofy, busy, tall, short, pretty, weird... Anything like that.
AR: Pretty? Yeah. Pretty.
EM: Yes, you are. What advice would you give your parents?
AR: What's an... advice?
EM: When you tell someone something they can do better, or can improve on.. how to do something.
AR: [Smirking, with full dimples] Tuck me in!!
Back story: A couple of nights ago, we told Allie, I mean Rachelle, that since she's in the habit of getting up forty million times (to get a drink of water, tell us she's itchy, beg to call Gramma, etc) after we tuck her in, we will no longer tuck her in. We will resume tucking her in when she has put herself to bed each night for a week, and stayed there.
EM: If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
AR: A bunny! Because I love it and that's my favorite animal very much!!
EM: What do you like to do for fun?
AR: Ummm... Let's see... Go to the duck park!!
EM: Tell me about a funny time in your life.
AR: Watching Tom and Jerry. Because they go 'Bang bang!' and they run all over the place and they hurt each other and they turn each other inside out! And Loony Tunes, too. I like funny shows.
EM: What is your favorite thing to do and why?
AR: Play ping-pong... I don't know. There's lots of things I like to do.
EM: What else?
AR: I like to be funny. I like to be pretty. And I like to laugh. And I like to cry.
EM: You like to cry?
EM: Why do you like to cry?
AR: I don't know. I like the feel of it.
EM: What is your favorite thing to do with your friends?
AR: [With a look which clearly expresses what a stupid question this is] Play with them...
EM: Play what?
AR: I like to play with them outside and swim with them in the summer. I have to go to the bathroom. That's what I like to do. [Giggles and runs to the bathroom]
EM: [Calling after her down the hall] While you're in there, think about what you love about Brenna!
AR: [Now that she's done her business] I like when she plays with me. When I want her to play with me. I like when she laughs. [Spaces off for a minute] I like it when Brenna's sleeping. It's adorable. I love when she dances and sings! SHE'S SO STINKING CUTE!!!
EM: What do you love the most about Judy?
AR: When she sleeps and when she smiles and when her tiny tooth shows when she smiles. I like it when she cries, because it's so sweet. I like when she tries to suck on my toes, because it's funny and it tickles. And she's cute and adorable.
EM: What is the nicest thing you've ever done for someone?
AR: Hmmm... When I told the lady on the way to church that I would pray for her that she would get her money back.
Back story: A few Sundays ago, as we walked to church, we were stopped by a woman on a bicycle who looked distraught. She told us she was a single mom and had lost her last twenty dollars somewhere between home and Fred Meyer, and just wanted to get food for her kids. I usually take these things with a grain of salt, as there are so many people out there who tell sad stories to get money. She was pretty convincing, though. Enough so that I almost cried as well. I told her I really wished we could help her, but we're broke, too. At this point, Allie looked her in the eye and said, "I'm so sorry that you lost your money. We will pray for you to get it back." Then I cried a little, the rest of the way to church. What a proud moment as a mom! Our daughter is so sweet and compassionate! I hope she holds onto that. (Updating that story, though, the same woman told the same story to Tony and his brother a week later, as if it had just happened. She obviously didn't recognize Tony from the previous meeting. We did pray for her again and wish for the best, whatever it is that she's dealing with.)
EM: Yes, that was very nice, Allie.. Rachelle. You make me so proud when you are sweet to people who are hurting and when you pray for people!
AR: That was sad.
EM: What do you think you'll be doing ten years from now, when you're fifteen. [Almost threw up in my mouth]
AR: [Grins mischievously] Having a boyfriend!
EM: No, you won't. Why do you want a boyfriend, anyway?
AR: [Giggles, then whispers in my ear] To kiss.
EM: No way. Not until you're thirty.
AR: [Pouts] That's a long time. I don't know... Going to high school?
EM: That's right. Focusing on high school, instead of boys.
AR: [Sticks her tongue out at me]
EM: What is your favorite thing to do in the summer?
AR: Swim! And go to the beach!!
EM: What do you think makes a person good looking?
AR: Having all the kinds of jewels and makeup, and having their hair up pretty.
EM: So they have to have those things to be pretty?
AR: Yes, and having pretty dresses and pretty high heels.
EM: Why can't they just be pretty the way God made them?
AR: Well, they can. But they will be more pretty than they are.
EM: What is the grossest thing you can think of?
AR: Ummm... A dead person. [I'm dropping that subject!]
EM: What do you think about boys? [Phooey. Didn't we already cover this?]
AR: Some boys are cute. Like my dad is. [Blushes]
EM: What about boys that aren't cute?
AR: Well, some of their things are cool. Kind of boyish though.
EM: What do you want to be when you grow up?
AR: A horse trainer. Or a person that works in a store.
EM: What makes you laugh?
AR: Watching funny shows. And telling jokes and stuff.
EM: What is your favorite joke?
AR: [Squinches her face up, as she makes one up in her head] Why did the dog zombie cross the road?
EM: [Rolling my eyes, I blame her father] Why?
AR: Because he had his brain birthday! Hahahahahahahahaha!!
EM: Huh? [I don't get it] Who is the funniest person you know?
AR: Opa! [Opa is her grandpa on Tony's side. If you know him, this is pretty funny.]
EM: [After I stop giggling] What is your favorite book?
AR: Bunny books.
EM: Any particular one?
AR: All the bunny books except for books that are boring.
EM: If you could meet anyone in the world, who would you meet? [I'm fully expecting to hear Jesus, since she tells me all the time she wants to meet Him]
AR: The girl who plays Hanna Montana! And... [grinning and smirking at me] Justin Bieber!!!
EM: I just threw up in my mouth.
AR: I know, Mom.
EM: What did you think of this interview?
AR: Cool. I like it. So we're done?
AR: Then you can get back to cleaning. [Promptly walks away to finish getting ready for school]